It's my fault
by katemul
Summary: What would happen if Meredith suffered minor brain damage after her drowning in season 3. This is my take on what her life would be like. Please review :
1. Chapter 1

Ok this is my first fanfiction so be nice :) anyways here goes. Sorry for any spelling mistakes I have no beta. What would happen if Meredith suffered brain damage from when she drowned in season 3. This is my take on what would happen.

'It's all my fault I knew there was something wrong she tried to drown herself in the bath this morning I should have... I don't know i just can't believe it.' Derek sobbed, Addison was standing beside him trying to get him to hold it together. 'Stop you couldn't have known she faught the water was cold she obviously couldn't swim...' she didn't get to finish when she was cut off by Derek ' She knew how to swim she didn't fucking fight, Eilis runined her what she said to her yesterday broke her'. 'Derek you dont get to break she needs you to be strong we all need you to be strong' Addison told him indicating to the tears now streaming down his face. With the help of Addison he had just pulled himself together when Eilis crashed he ran to her room and preformed CPR. 'You're not dying on me today' he half yelled 'charge to 300 clear'. They got no responce. He called time of death and walked out of the room.

Back in trauma room 2 Meredith's heart had just started to beat again after a final round of epidural. 'Sinus brady she's back' Bailey half wispered. Christina ran to Meredith's side. 'Christina she's not out of the woods yet she could have brain damage she's been out for 6 hours so don' get you hopes up' Bailey warned. 'We'll leave you too it' the doctors said before vacating the room leaving Christina siting with Meredith. Within a few minutes Meredih's eyes flickered open. Christina jumped up 'O my god Meredith hey I need you to speak i know your in a lot of pain but you have to try and say something. After several moments Meredith let out a moan and managed to say ouch. Christina ran out the door to find Bailey and Derek. When they returned to her room Derek went and kisses her on the head. Bailey checked her vitals. Within a moment Meredith stated seizing. Bailey stuck an ingection into her leg and in moments the seizure had stopped. 'We need to take her for a CT scan' Derek managed after he overcame the shock. They prepared her and quickly transported her to the scan room. Derek was lookin at the exray's of her brain when he noticed a small area damaged. Christina gasped 'Can you operate?'. 'I don't think so it's too risky'. 'You're saying you're going to let her live the rest of her life having uncontrolable seizure's?' Christina was getting slightly aggiated. 'No judging by where it's positoned she will only have seizure's when she's stressed, nervous or upset. 'So that mean's she'll still be able to work and everything right?' 'Right now let's get her back upstair's Christina'. They wheeled her back to the room and paged the chief and Dr Bailey.

That's it for now please let me know what ye think of it and let me know if I should continue. :D Thank's.


	2. Chapter 2

Thanks a million for the review's it means a lot to me and special thank's to SeriouslyMcDreaming for the great advice :D x and again sorry about any spelling mistakes and stuff. :D

Meredith woke up the next morning and looked down to see Derek asleep at her hospial bedside. She moved her leg's sligtly and Derek awoke, he looked up and saw that she was awake and moved to sit in the chair beside her bed.

'Hey how are you feeling?' Derek wasn't sure what to ask or tell her but he did know for a certain that he didn't want to upset her

'I'm fine' she turned away from him in the bed. She wasn't sure what she wanted from life anymore. She needed to let him in she knew something was wrong, she needed help and she needed him.

'Ok Mer I'm here when you need to talk.' He knew tha now really wasn't the time to push it. He ran his hand through her hair and sat back down on the chair. Within minutes Meredith was asleep again. Dr Bailey entered the room shortly after.

'Derek did you go home at all? Or even get something to eat?'

'Miranda am no but i can't leave her'. Derek looked back at the sleeping Meredith.

'Derek go il stay with her until you get back and don't even bother argueing with me because remember Derek I'm always right'. Derek knew she was right so left the room and headed to the café. He didn't take any notice of the couple infront of him until the woman grabbed his arm.

'Sorry do you know where Dr. Meredith Grey is?'. His head quickly jerked up to look st the woman who had enquired about Meredith.

'Sorry may I ask who ye are?'. The woman looked at her husband and he nodded gently back at her.

'Oh sorry my name is Susan and this is Thatcher Grey'. Derek stared at Thatcher he looked like a nice decent man he couldn't believe someone like him would hurt Meredith so much but he guessed that's why they say looks can be decieving.

'Ok I'm Dr. Sheppard and I have to ask the reason for you're visit?'. He was staring at Thatcher but didn't realise so until Susan spoke again.

'We heard about Meredith's mother and we are ever so sorry can we please see her so we can offer our condolences?' Derek knew that seeing Thatcher would more then likely trigger another seizure and he hadn't yet told Meredith about her mother yet either.

'No sorry I can't let you Meredith is extremely ill and i can't risk worsening her state'. Derek shook his head and attempted to walk away but Thatcher stepped out in front of him.

'You can't tell me I can't see my daughter I know there is nothing wrong with her, trust me don't get too close to her she'll ruin you she'll ruin everything that she come's in contact with take the oppertunity now and run, run for the hills'. Derek could feel the anger boiling up inside of him.

'I love Meredith and she is a magnificant woman she has her high points and her low and the lows are mainly your fault you ruined her she is the best thing that happened to me and you and Eilis are also the one's who nearly took her away from me. She's fragile and ye're words almost killed her she is now lying in a hopital bed with severe brain damage becaus e of you, you made her think she was worthless but everyone who know's her cares about her deeply. So she will never be the same again and that one's on you'. While he was giving them a piece of his mind he had paged security. They arrived up and escorted Susan and Thatcher out but not before Thatcher roared.

'I will be back and then tell her she can't hide, you're making a huge mistake she's poisonus she will ruin you'. With that he was gone. Derek took a couple of minutes to get his head together, got a quick bite to eat and ran baack to the room but Meredith was still asleep. He told Bailey what happened and she was angry that Thatcher would do something like that and wanted to kick his ass so badly.

'Ok Derek i think she will be ok to take home tomorrow so il just give you her medication and i have seen to Richard and he has given ye both a week off and the ye have three weeks off for Thanksgiving and Christmas.' Derek picked up the many bags of mediction and sat back in the chair beside Meredith's bed.

'Thank's a million Miranda'. She smiled and left the room. Derek put his head down on the bed and went to sleep.

Ok that's the next chapter. What do ye think I'm not quiet sure about this yet. what do ye think? Please review :D.


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